OUT ON THE HILL is the official blog of the Victory Congressional Interns. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of LGBTQ+ Victory Institute. Learn more about the internship at victoryinstitute.org/vci.
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“Just because you may not belong, does not mean that you don’t absolutely deserve to be here.”
Since arriving in Washington, my Victory Congressional Internship cohort and I had heard repeated messages that we did belong working on the Hill, that we had earned it, that we should be proud, and that we should have confidence. All of these are true, except one. We don’t “belong” on the Hill.
On our second day of orientation and our first day on the Hill, this reality was made clear to us by a former Victory intern on our VCI alumni panel. In response to a question about belonging as an openly queer person on the Hill, we were hit with the truth. We don’t “belong” here.
We, as openly queer individuals, do not “belong” in an institution that is still fighting to break down our communities. I, as an openly queer Arab man, do not “belong” in an institution where xenophobia runs rampant. My fellow interns of color do not “belong” in an institution created by and upheld by white supremacy. We don’t “fit in” there. In my first two days interning on the Hill, that is one thing that is clear. I’ve seen the looks certain people give in the halls when they see my nose ring and earrings, when I introduce myself as an intern in LGBTQ+ Victory Institute’s program. Sometimes even when they just hear me speak.
We do not “belong”. But we absolutely deserve to be there.
Coming into the program, I had experienced many instances of negative self-talk. I was convinced I would fail, that I wasn’t capable. I even told myself that Victory must not have had enough applicants if they picked me. I was convinced that I didn’t deserve to be there. But the second I arrived in D.C. for this program, things shifted.
I moved into the dorms at GW and met the other interns in my cohort. Being surrounded by such exceptional, kind, supportive queer people with the same passion as me was a truly grounding experience. And then we had our orientation days. On our first day of orientation at the Victory office, the Executive Director informed us that there had been over 250 applicants to our program. There are only 16 of us accepted. That’s an acceptance rate lower than most Ivy League schools– I guess I was wrong about there not being enough applicants.
On our second day of orientation, we had panels with LGBTQ+ staffers, VCI alumni, and Equality Caucus staff. The overarching theme was clear: you all are here because you earned it, remember that. I’ve taken that with me in my first few days working on the Hill. I make sure I’m walking through the halls proudly and confidently; not afraid to take on any task presented to me.
Every now and then I stop and look at myself in the mirror in the Rayburn Office Building bathroom and just think to myself: “I DO deserve to be here.” A gay, Arab man from North Carolina in a floral shirt with a nose piercing and dangly earrings. I don’t “belong”, but the Hill is better for me being there.
